The following first appeared in the private email list IVy-subscribers,
which was available to all those who subscribed to the
printed magazine, International Viewpoints.

The two sides of the coin
by Phil Spickler
17 Apr 00

Greetings to those present:
       Allow me to start by an expression of highest commendation and
acknowledgment to our Ant, who art in Lyngby, for bringing up and discussing
the fact that lots of Clears and OTs and highly-trained Scientologists have,
in the course of their lives, experienced "going out the bottom," which is
another way of saying have become depressed, had low energy, acted in
aberrated ways, and usually made an effort to keep what was going on with
them a secret, lest those new to the subject or those who hadn't yet arrived
might get the idea that the gains and the results from auditing and training
were not stable enough to prevent a person from re-descending into troubled

      This cover-up or keeping secret times when people who had had a lot of
auditing and training became ill or sick mentally, spiritually, physically,
has a long history in the movement, and the cover-up extended all the way
from L. Ron Hubbard and his family right through the ranks of senior
Scientologists and probably extended even out in the field, where lots of
people felt that having attested to Clear or some OT state they had to keep
up appearances and never let the public realize that it was possible, even
after all that auditing and training, to get spiritually, mentally, or
physically quite ill, sometimes chronically, and most amazing of all, even
die! -- a word absolutely forbidden in the ranks of the faithful.

       Having had a chance from 1952 to present time to observe the lives of
quite a few people involved in Scientology and Dianetics, as well as my own
existence, I'd like to corroborate what Ant had to say about the phenomenon
of getting into a bad state and then not communicating about it as being
quite common, and I'd also like to thank him with much gratitude for allowing
us to know that he, Ant, went through some rough times in the fairly recent
past, and that the Pilot, Ken Ogger, is currently having some rocky moments;
and I hope the good thoughts and postulates for his inevitable improvement
will go out from all of us Listers to him.  He, just as Ant, has contributed
a great deal, and deserves our best magic.

      If he thinks he's being bothered by the voodoo of the Church, I think
our own wonderful Deep TranceForming Shaman Rowland Barkley could help him
with that difficulty, and I mean that quite sincerely.

       Anyhow, over the years there have been many efforts to explain the
fact that people who have had a lot of auditing, with enormous case gain,
could get into very serious rough times, contrary to the many promises made
by Ron and various promotional agencies that gave assurance that this sort of
thing would not happen.  This unfortunately has always been unrealistic, to
say the least; and while it may be good for business, does very little to
help a given individual or group see the extraordinary possibilities for bad
fortune that exist in the universe.

       Individuals and groups must realize that good fortune and bad fortune,
like life and death, are but two sides of the same coin, and that a person or
group in really good shape is willing to experience both sides of that coin,
and know that if they try to make one side of the coin the only truth, they
are actually and simultaneously solidifying the side that they don't want and
will eventually experience unwillingly.

        This is a very old message, to be found in many of the antecedent
philosophies to Scientology, but continues to interfere with marketing and
business strategies, and thus it keeps getting ignored, much to the detriment
of those who, finding themselves experiencing a down period, instead of being
able to communicate about it, to work to be willing to experience it,
.instead have the situation as a big withhold or even missed withhold, and
then go back to looking for things that will  prevent such experiences from
ever happening again, which is the worst possible way to go if you're trying
to get yourself into a condition where you're willing to confront life in all
of its manifestations and become willing and able, to as great a degree as
possible, to experience them.

      This premise of invincible case gain is one of the things that not only
ruined the life of L. Ron Hubbard, but is still keeping his Church the dream
of a madman.

      I hope, on the IVy list, others will come forth to bear witness to what
we're talking about here and to get rid of the notion, once and for all, that
if you get a cold or the flu you should keep it as a sinful secret, or if you
feel depressed or worse, that it's somehow the end of the world and no one
must know about it.  Or if you have a moment of extreme reactivity, all is
lost and you'll never be clear again.

       I personally spend a small but significant amount of time doing
everything in my power to recover the worst elements of the case that I once
had, and believe you me, it's not easy!

       Well, on that light note here's hopes for a world in which it's OK to
experience life, up and down, right and left, black and white, good and evil,
etc. etc., and even have some fun while doing it.  I'll close with highest
regards to Ant, most best wishes to the Pilot, and felicitations to my fellow
Listers --