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The following first appeared in the private email list IVy-subscribers,
which was available to all those who subscribed to the
printed magazine, International Viewpoints.
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More about Idiotics
by Phil Spickler
29 Nov 00

       One of the advanced theories of Idiotics, which may be considered by
some to be an idiotic theory, supposes or presupposes to answer the question,
"Why in the world is everyone idiotic?"  At the risk of standing on the
shoulders of those who have gone before me (since shoulder-standing can lead
to a nasty fall), I should like to mention a philosophic figure from an
earlier century, namely, L. Ron Hubbard, who conceived of, or remembered, or
plagiarized, the idea that a human being consisted of a thetan (spiritual
being), possibly immortal, plus a mind and a body; and that the body of this
grand triumvirate was first, foremost, and basically something which was
purely dedicated to survival.

        The immortal thetan or spiritual being when it was in its right mind
had no attention on any urge or goal to survive, since that was all that it
could do, being as how it was immortal.  Interactions and other things
between this-here thetan and that-there body had a lot to do with the
creation of that servomechanism known as the mind, a pretty handy thing to
have between a nothingness and a somethingness.  Anyhow, here you have a
formula for the production of human idiocy, brought about by the body trying
as hard as it possibly can (poor thing!) to survive, and the thetan, if it's
at all conscious, not having the slightest worry or interest in survival.

       When and if the body loses interest in survival, proceeds towards
death, that's about as crazy or as non-survival as it can get.  And when the
thetan starts worrying about survival and making it an important intention or
urge, then the thetan is about as crazy as it could possibly get, 'cause when
it has the urge to survive, it's about as far removed from any sense of what
it is as you can get.

       But since human beings are alleged to be made up of a thetan plus a
body, the longer this relationship continues, the more idiotic and
inconsistent and illogical becomes the product of this union, namely, a human
being.  So there's one pretty darn good theory of why humans can't help being
idiotic, right up until the time that the body and the thetan get shut of
each other.  There even seem to be ways to accomplish that other than
physical death, but it's difficult for the divorce to remain stable.

        So this theory is one of the basic premises of Idiotology, and it's
one that each person can, if they so desire, make a stab at proving for
themselves, or not.  Getting one's personal idiocy acknowledged, validated,
brought forward and confronted, is not and should not be an exercise in
invalidation.  It's intended to be an exercise in acknowledgment, and it's
something that you can have a lot of fun doing, unless you're extremely
serious about the self that you're being and you could never countenance the
idea of being an overblown, egotistical idiot.  No exceptions on this planet
-- it's part of being human (or should I say inhuman).

      Now the people of Earth, from the brightest to the dumbest, (and thank
God for that range), can't continue to be human beings without being fairly
idiotic, 'cause if we humans started getting really wise and really knowing
and really started solving the problem of the game called Life in any
terminal sense, that would be the end of everything.  So we are habitually
idiotic, to avoid that ever-present danger and game-ender called total
understanding.

       In closing, in conversations that I've had with people who have
visited Earth from other areas, they don't have any trouble at all seeing how
idiotic the people of Earth are.  But the happy side of it is, and again this
is somewhat theoretical, that Earth is one big entertainment center for large
areas of the galaxy, and our shenanigans provide others with everything from
long-term sitcoms to the widest imaginable range of dramatic stories that
often include the sort of planetary upheavals that make for incredible
entertainment for our viewing audience.  And so you can see, Shakespeare was
not far off the mark when he said that all the world's a stage.

        You can expect more idiocy to flow from the pen of the founder of
Idiotology as time goes by, and you can see from tonight's infomercial that
there's a lot more to it than you might have thought from the light reading
of the first chapter.

       And so, my fellow idjits or idiots, and fellow entertainers, I bid you
a fond and temporary farewell, and the hopes that we will all continue to
keep up our act (acts).

        Adieu --
         Phil