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by Phil Spickler go to
Date: Thu, 10 Apr 2003 01:09:57 EDT
Subject: IVySubs: Calling all cars, calling all cars -- be on the lookout
for a withhold that's been missing for some days
** ivy-subscribers relaying **
Hello, my fellow playmates!
I'd like to acknowledge one and all who are posting (contributing) to the
IVy list these days. The action is fast and furious, sometimes humorous,
often educational, and at the very least most interesting.
My own very first acquaintance, at a somewhat sub-verbal level, with a
missed withhold took place when I was quite a young lad, and had discovered
that playing with my genitalia (penis, in this case) could be fun, pleasant,
even though it meant that I was on a short fast trip to Hell, and that I
could also expect hair to be growing in the palm of one or both hands, and
that the weakness of mind that I've become famous for was my fate, including
the lack of moral fiber that has plagued me for centuries.
But anyway, back to the feeling of a missed withhold. Coming out of the
bathroom rather furtively, and unexpectedly running into my mother, who
seemed to be looking at me or through me as though she knew exactly what I'd
been doing in the bathroom, at that instant a number of extremely visceral
feelings occurred within my young body: flushing, embarrassment, a
suddenly-constricted feeling in the vocal apparatus, and a modest sensation
of disembowelment quickly passed through, as I hurriedly made my way out of
Well, I certainly had a withhold, since I didn't want to tell or have
anybody find out what I was doing in the bathroom; and when Mother looked at
me in the way that mothers sometimes are wont to look at little boys who are
often up to all kinds of mischief, the phenomenon called a missed withhold
took place -- the feeling that SHE KNEW what I was doing, or NEARLY KNEW, or
was about to find out if I stopped to chat with her.
So when Ron started talking about withholds and missed withholds, the
idea of running into preclears who had guilty secrets which had been
restimulated over and over again by one or more people was not exactly new,
but calling the dynamics of the experience "missed withhold" certainly was a
good description of what took place.
Another troublesome aspect of missed withholds that came to be something
pretty important to handle in auditing was called the continuous missed
withhold; and I've rarely audited anybody that didn't have at least one or
more of these troublesome conditions. You can certainly change a person's
life in a big way, including the look on their face, by getting hold of one
of these continuous missed withholds, and generate quite a bit of freedom in
the person's universe by handling it and any and all sources connected with
the guy that are holding onto it.
Some years ago we had some rather humorous and somewhat productive
contests on the IVy list that I sponsored, having to do with Service
Facsimiles. I don't know if we would be treading upon dangerous waters to
suggest that we have a Missed Withhold or Continuous Missed Withhold Contest
on the IVy list, in which folks could write in previous or past missed
withholds that possibly got handled or discharged in auditing, or even find
and discover newly a continuous missed withhold or two, and offer it up on
the list. This is an idea that I'm hoping my fellow listers will write in
and let me know if it would be a popular idea to have such a contest, or
whether it's just asking for trouble :-) :-) :-).
Back in 1960, in Washington, D.C., I was privileged to attend the 22nd
Advanced Clinical Course. Ron at that time was giving an Advanced Clinical
Course in (I believe) Melbourne, Australia, but had some really crackerjack
old-timers delivering the 22nd ACC here in the States. Well, for the first 2
or 3 weeks of this course, which if memory serves me correctly lasted 6
weeks, we gave and got fairly lengthy auditing sessions each day, and the
thrust of these sessions was to find and clear all the guilty secrets, all
the overts and all the withholds and all the manifestations that went with
them, off the person you were auditing. This was beefed up by the fact that
you were in a room with 30 or 40 other sessions doing the same thing, and
when some really juicy overt/withhold started coming up in one of the
sessions, it was not uncommon for the whole room to suddenly become very
quiet, as all the auditors and pcs, with very large ears, listened to someone
confessing stuff that they thought they'd never have to tell anybody, ever --
stuff they'd rather die than communicate, even to a single auditor, or a
priest, or a rabbi, or a chaplain, all alone in a solitary space; let alone
58 other people listening in, plus the instructors.
Well, I want to tell you, if it's possible to die of embarrassment, quite
a few of us, including yours truly, came pretty close. But after awhile,
since everybody was coming up with stuff that they certainly didn't want a
group of people to hear, you got to the point where you no longer felt that
anyone would look at you like you were some kind of a pervert or criminal or
worse -- that part of the human condition, both in one's immediate life and
on the whole track (real or imagined), had plenty of guilty secrets, plenty
of things that you never wanted others to find out, things that keep the
peoples of Earth, human beings, from getting as close and intimate and loving
to one another as we think we'd like them to be.
As I think LRH might have once said, 'If all the people in a large city
were to suddenly start getting off their withholds to their wives and
husbands and 3rd dynamic entanglements, the city in no time at all might look
like Hiroshima, or perhaps Dresden, during World War II." So yes, we human
beings live just on the edge of forces that rival the H-bomb as we imprison
ourselves within our structure of secrets. Anyhow, and to get to the end of
this memoir, I got to the point where I could talk about my life so openly,
and even wanted to, that some folks didn't want to be around me socially
because I might encourage them to do the same.
Well, Julie, my amanuensis, has just put up the flag that says, "Enough
for now!" which I happen to agree with; and so, with the threat of making the
IVy list the first list in the history of the Internet which may have people
in the near future communicating the unspeakable in a cybertherapeutic
setting, I bid all concerned a fond "Good evening."
Philip the Troublemaker
Home Page: http://www.ivymag.org/ - with extensive links to FZ!